Passionate About Central New York
and the Moms Who Live Here

Knowing When to Ask for Help

Knowing When To Ask For HelpLife is full of changes. Sometimes these changes can be little, while others are so big that they shake the very ground that keeps you stable.

I’ve always been one of those neurotic people that has plans, and everything that I do fits into those plans. For me: You graduate high school, go to college (and then graduate school if you’re crazy enough), get married and have a family. Somewhere in between you buy a house and just like that, there is a picket fence and all.

I managed to check each one of those off of my list but the timeframe was a little bit off. My husband and I dated for five years before marriage, and then the baby and a house came VERY shortly after.

We experienced so many changes all at once and it has shaken us up so much that we are struggling to get back to “us”.

How do you learn to be parents when you didn’t get time as husband and wife first? How do you manage a household when you have to learn how to be married and raise a child on top of that? Married life it tough enough and then the added stress of a baby and all of the bills that come along with homeownership makes it even harder.

We wanted it all and we still do, but the timeframe of the way that things have happened did not fit into “the plan”. Life has a funny way of throwing a curveball … or two or three, all at once. We’ve grown together and we are stronger because of everything that we’ve been through together, but right now we are not healthy. Marriage is a commitment and we made that commitment out of love … but our relationship is not in a good place and it kills me because this should be a happy time in our lives.

I knew there would be tough times but I just wish that we could get back to the old us.

I LOVE being a mommy – becoming one has changed my life for the better – I love being married and owning a house, but it has caused a lot of tension between my husband and myself. I’ve never been one to admit defeat but right now my neurotic, planning, type A personality needs to know when to ask for help … and we, husband and wife, need some outside help.

Right now we are in a bad place and I want nothing more than for us to rebuild a new and healthy relationship. Getting help is never a bad thing or something to be embarrassed about. I’m hoping and praying that with the help of a couples counselor, we can move forward together to the life that we had always imagined.

Did you and your significant other go through a rough patch after welcoming your child?
How did you overcome it?

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