We’ve spent over a decade together; as friends, then lovers, and husband and wife. We have made it through thick and thin, and now we are waist-deep in this somewhat-still-new journey of parenthood, careers, and hectic family life. We raise a suspicious eyebrow at friends our age who use the term “adulting”- we’re way past that. We don’t transition between having to be an adult and choosing to do what we want. It’s not a verb, or an event- it’s our life.
The days blend together. Days pass, and sometimes weeks, before I look at you one day and think, “Wait.. When was the last time we really connected? We spend five out of seven days of the week running a fairly well-oiled machine in the short evenings we have together. The kids are young, yes. We haven’t even gotten into the days of sports and extra-curriculars. But man, those evenings fly by. We wait and wait for the kids to settle and fall asleep, so we can have some time to “adult” as a couple. Occasionally it happens. Most often, it doesn’t.
So, my dear sweet husband, I have one thing to ask of you. I know it’s a big favor, but trust me, it’ll be worth it:
Wait for me.
I’m spent. Most days, I try so hard to make it past the kids’ bedtimes, and lately it’s not so easy. Our eighteen month-old is still nowhere NEAR sleeping through the night. I still nurse her- I’ve got this! I can do the overnights..but I need emotional support. I need reassurance (yes, often) that you’re still here. I hope that you miss me. But you know I need rest, too.
Please know how badly I want to finish that Netflix series we started A YEAR AGO. I know those people out there “adulting” probably think I’m insane because they can flip the switch and spend a Saturday catching up (so jealous). But I think you get it. After the last kid goes to bed, most days I’m not far behind. If we start that episode, the toddler somehow knows! She wakes up and cries, and you patiently wait. Knowing that a show we began at 9:30 somehow goes until 11:25, I usually opt out. Don’t worry, honey, I promise we’ll get through it!
We’ll get through it.
I know we’ll get through this whole insanity of parenthood because we’re strong together. You somehow make me stronger when I feel like I’m so weak and have nothing left. You don’t show it with gifts, or notes, or anything sappy like that. Your embrace is enough. You let me know that you do understand. Your ability to make light of the worst kid tantrums help me see the bright side of a long day. Our ability to balance one another is pretty awesome. I just hope you realize when I’m open-mouthed drooling at the other end of the couch that I had every intention of hanging out with you after tucking in the kids. Please wait. Someday I’ll sleep through the night, too.
This crazy adventure has brought out the best (and sometimes the worst) in me, but my love for you hasn’t changed; if anything, it has grown because I have learned how patient you are with me and how amazing you are with our children. Someday, we’ll be able to go out on a date again. Soon, hopefully, we will at least be able to have our couch dates again. But I also need sleep, and I thank you endlessly for your understanding on that one.
So, if you’re okay with it, I need you to wait for me. Sometimes a few hours, or a day.. sometimes a week. But I’m here. I always will be.